flight over

 

OK, that was kind of bad. Well, really for traveling 7,000+ miles I guess it was not so bad. We were supposed to take an overnight flight to Seoul then connect to Saigon. Our flight left at 11:30 pm, so we figured we would get in, take some drugs and fall asleep. The kids sleep 10 hours, the flight was 11 something, so with any luck they would wake up in time for landing.

So we take off and everything seems fine. Packed plane, but whatever. They come around with warm towels. OK, great, that’s nice. I turn on the flight tracker on the screen in the back of the seat in front of me. Cruising along at 550 miles an hour. Just 10 hours 54 minutes left.

In this time the lights are on full brightness and they are doing nonstop chattering. “Duty free goods anyone?” “Asiana Airlines is a proud member of the I don’t give a damn alliance. And we will be earning 5324 miles for this trip.” How about the I’d like to sleep alliance? Can we join that one.

Evidently, a watched flight never lands. I turn on Top Gun – Mavericks. They are traveling at Mach 9. Every time he straps that dumb MAsK, I’m traveling so fast I need this mask to help me breathe thing around his face, I take it personally. More like mock 9. Fuck you Tom Cruise, go jump on a couch.  

Then beverage service.  OK, reasonable. I asked if they were going to dim the lights. “Soon.” I can’t resist and peek. Flight tracker reads 515 miles per hour and 11:25 minutes. Then meal service. Who eats at 1:00 am? But fine I got my bi bim bap. For some reason they are keeping the heat in the plane really hot. I’ve dressed in a sweater because normally planes are cold, but fine, I can use the sweater to supplemental the ¾ inch think pillow they have so nicely provided. So I pull off my sweater and in the 2 seconds it takes, we’ve slowed to 495 miles per hour and our time to arrival is now at 12:05 hours! Is this google maps with an accident ahead where even though you are going forward the time to arrival keeps increasing?

Then f***ing coffee service. Who the hell needs coffee service. Evidently the captains because, according to the person’s seat two rows ahead, we have now slowed to 364 miles per hour and our time to arrival is now 12 hours and 12 minutes. How is this possible?

At least they have finally turned off the lights and I sleep. Or try. Noah and I can’t sleep for shit. Every time I look at Yona and Aviva, they are out cold. But Noah and I are on our third movie. This is torture. Is it wrong to poke Yona so I have more company?

Wait, the lights are back on? Are we landing? No, there is turbulence. Evidently, you can’t just announce that there is turbulence, you have to wake everyone up to do it. “Hello, this is your captain. May I have your attention please. There is turbulence up ahead. Please buckle your seat belts.” No buddy, there will be turbulence if you don’t shut up.

OK, back to sleep?

What, more turbulence? Do you have to wake people up every time there is risk of a small bounce.

Yes, evidently, we do need to wake everyone up every time there is small bounce. And also, evidently, there are a lot of light bounces on this flight.

When starting to land, they showed a video with stretches and their benefits. one particular stretch was told to have a relaxing effect on your lower body. It was interesting to see many people on the plane doing the stretching with the video.